A Tall Order by Becky Bye

Snow White has launched an Enchanted Forest wide search for a suitable cleaner for the palace.

Since moving into the royal premises with her new husband, Prince Charming, Snow White claims that her friends the seven dwarves are simply too short to reach the palace windows to clean them properly.

“I tried borrowing the singing mice from Cinderella,” Snow White told reporters, “but they were even less use than the dwarves.”

Snow White has launched an appeal for anyone of giant sized proportions to get in touch with the palace as soon as possible.

“The cobwebs are getting beyond a joke,” she said, and added that what she really needed was a giant who might be travelling through the area and looking for work.

Sleep Sweet by Becky Bye

Following Sleeping Beauty’s dramatic awakening at the lips of Prince Charming, it has been revealed that the princess had in fact taken an overdose of sleeping pills.

Suspicions arose when palace cleaners discovered empty pill bottles underneath a squeaky floorboard in Sleeping Beauty’s bedchamber, which have now been sent for scientific testing.

Sleeping Beauty insists that her extensive sleeping was due to enchantment, and dispels sleeping pill rumours as ‘vicious’ and ‘absurd’.

 

The royal palace refused to comment.

Easy Peasy, by Becky Bye

On a recent royal visit, one of the Princesses of The Enchanted Forest was outraged to discover that  vegetables had been put in her bed.

After finally accepting peas under her mattress in her own home, she was shocked to find other vegetables, including parsnips, cabbage, carrots and sprouts, had been placed under the mattress in her hotel.

An investigation is currently being held in order to identyfy the culprit.

As yet it remains unclear whether or not this was a prank played by hotel porters.

Goldilocks Sighted in Bulgarian Salon, by Becky Bye

There have been reports that the infamous Goldilocks has been sighted in a hair salon in the forests of Bulgaria.

It is thought that Miss Locks is going for the brunette look in order to escape detection.

The renowned porridge thief has been on the run for the past three months, following the robbery of the Three Bears' emergency porridge stash.

Anyone with any information is urged to come forward.

Porridge eaters are also requested to safely lock up their porridge boxes at night, to avoid being the victims of further porridge-related crime.

Pigs Might Fly, by Liz Mackley

Scientists at the University of Woodpecker have discovered a herb which may help a species of pigs to grow wings.
 

The team, led by Professor Owl, has discovered that combining Leerdamer Cheese, raven feathers and and Belladonna causes a chemical reaction which could allow grounded piggletons to reconstruct their shorn wings. 
 

Professor Owl said: "We're still in the final stages but we hope to have a remedial scrub by the end of the year.
 

"Pigs may really fly again."
 

The breakthrough will be welcomed by members of the piggleton community, who were among many victims targetted during the Wolf Wars. Today, only 25% of piggletons still have their wings, and there have been recent fears that the skill could be bred out.

 

Sophie Honk, a spokesman from leading charity, Save the Piggleton, said: "We at Save the Piggleton are very excited to hear about this new treatment.
 

"The scrub will revolutionise the therapies we've been using to support affected piggletons, and will help to resurrect this ancient ability to its former glory.
 

"The work of Professor Owl and his team has been much appreciated."
 

For those interested to find out how they can volunteer to take part in the Piggleton Scrub trials, contact the Professor Owl Institute for Magical Medicine on: Pink Tiddliwink 007.

Mystery Woman Leaves Slipper at Ball, by Liz Mackley

Royal Guards are looking for the owner of a glass slipper which was discovered in the early hours of this morning following the annual Prince's HulaHula Ball.

 

The slipper is thought to belong to a woman in her early-twenties who was seen dashing from the Palace Ballrooms close to midnight last night. It is thought the shoe slipped from her foot in her hurry to leave.

 

Prince Charming, who had danced with the woman in question for a number of hits, is particularly keen to reunite the footwear with the owner.

 

He said: "She left without telling me her name."

 

"She was such a fantastic dancer, she really took my breath away. I wanted to recommend her for the Deep Dark Dancing contest which I'll be judging later this year."

 

The palace has asked for anybody with information concerning the whereabouts of this woman to come forward.

If The Shoe Fits, by Becky Bye

Residents of the Enchanted Forest have been left green with envy after the old woman who lived in the shoe won the lottery this week.

Mrs Boot, who won a whopping 12 million magic beans, said that she would soon be upgrading her leaky old leather shoe to something a little more modern, minimalist and weatherproof.

See page 42 to view planning proposals for Mrs Boot’s new home.